Sickbay Is My Crutch
by Telperion
Summary: Trip decides to move his living quarters.


Disclaimer: Don't own these characters, just borrowing them for a little bit.

A/N: Since Trip ends up in sickbay so often, both on the show and in my stories (hey, I don't have much imagination!), I decided that he should make the experience a little more entertaining.

Sickbay Is My Crutch

Captain Jonathan Archer strode along the corridor towards sickbay, feeling a little annoyed. Earlier that week, Trip had gotten himself injured on an away mission – again – and although he was making a good recovery, Dr. Phlox had insisted on keeping him in sickbay to keep an eye on him, a situation that Trip was less than happy with. He had been bouncing off the walls for the last twenty-four hours, and was obviously getting on Phlox's nerves. The Chief Medical Officer's voice had sounded distinctly peeved when he had summoned the Captain to sickbay, and Archer wondered what on earth Trip had done now.

As the doors to sickbay swooshed open, a chorus of voices greeted him.

"Ta da!"

Archer halted, stunned into immobility by the scene of chaos that greeted him. Sickbay looked like a bomb had hit it. A bomb with extremely bad interior design sense, and a penchant for messiness. Piles of clothes littered the floor, all the tables and benches were covered in paper and padds, and every available inch of wall space had been plastered with ship schematics, photographs of Enterprise's many away missions, and gaudy prints of beaches bathed in sunsets that looked very much as if they were based on Florida. In fact, the whole of sickbay looked suspiciously like…

"Do ya like it?"

Swinging around, Archer was confronted by the sight of his Chief Engineer, Comms Officer, and Helmsman. All of them were grinning widely, and looked very pleased with themselves. Dr. Phlox was hovering in the background, looking like he didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Trip, what have you done?" asked Archer. "This whole place looks exactly like…well, it looks exactly like your quarters, only on a much larger scale."

"Well, that's because it's meant to look like my quarters, Cap'n," replied Trip. "I was getting' real bored of bein' stuck in here, so I decided to make it a little more homely."

"But how did you manage it?" said Archer. "I can't imagine that Dr. Phlox would have been particularly happy to let you do this to his sickbay."

Phlox stepped forward. "Indeed not, Captain," he said. "However, I didn't really have much choice in the matter. I believe Commander Tucker here sedated me with the excretions of the Quazaran worm. It's an extremely short-lived, but extremely effective anaesthetic. Then he got Ensigns Sato and Mayweather to help him with his…decorating."

Archer rounded on Trip. "You sedated the Chief Medical Officer!" he yelled.

Trip's grin didn't falter. "Relax, Cap'n. I knew it wouldn't hurt him. Besides, don't ya think that sickbay looks much better this way? Much more welcomin'."

Archer couldn't help it. He smiled. "Well, it's certainly different. Although I'm not sure that better is the word I'd use."

Trip looked insulted. "But you always said you liked my decoratin'. Said it was unique."

Hoshi cleared her throat. "Uh, Commander," she began. "With my expertise in languages, I feel it's my duty to tell you that when someone says your taste is 'unique', that usually means they hate it."

Archer looked sheepish. "Sorry Trip."

Trip waved a hand at him. "Doesn't matter, Cap'n. It only matters that I like it. Since I'm the one who spends most time in here."

It was Phlox's turn to clear his throat. "I beg to differ, Commander Tucker."

"Are you kiddin', Doc? I spend at least as much time here as you do. If not more, since I seem to be here even when you're not on shift, and Cutler's here instead."

Archer decided it was time to intervene. "Well, I can see you three have put a lot of work into this, but I think it's time you cleared up in here."

"Oh no, Cap'n. It's all stayin'." Trip was adamant. "If I'm gonna continue to spend so much time here, I want a comfortin' atmosphere."

Phlox looked put-out. "Captain!" he appealed.

"Trip." Archer's voice was dangerous. "If you don't clean up this mess right now, I'll confine you to quarters for a month." He looked around. "And don't think even you could stand this…uh…décor for that long."

Trip looked defeated, but he still had one more card to play. "Okay, Cap'n," he agreed. "On one condition."

"Trip!"

"You gotta tell the Doc to let me out of here right now. I'm goin' crazy Cap'n. And there's no need for me to be in here any more."

Archer sighed. "Okay, Trip. Doctor, is Trip free to leave."

"Certainly, Captain. As long as he takes all his paraphernalia with him."

Archer turned back to Trip. "You heard the man, Commander. Start cleaning. And you two." Archer rounded on Hoshi and Travis, who were trying to edge to towards the door. Sheepishly, they started picking things up off the floor.

As he was dumping some padds in a box, Trip paused. "Oh, there is one more thing."

"What is it now, Trip?"

"Tell Phlox that if he so much as comes near me again with those Regulan leeches, all this 'paraphernalia' will be back quicker than you can say 'Denobulans have three wives.'"


End file.
